Life of Rian

Windows, are you kidding me?

2010-04-15T07:36:00.002+02:00

I understand the recycle bin can get too full sometimes. And I would accept that in this case Windows refuses to throw more ~~trash~~ files into the bin. But file name too long? Come on ...

Weekend in March in Pictures

2010-03-29T12:53:00.002+02:00

As I'm utterly busy at the moment, I just want to share a few pictures from Monrepos Castle where my BF ans I spent a lovely afternoon a few weeks ago. As you can see, everything was covered in snow back then. Fortunately, sping has kicked in since ...

Another Solitude Moment in High Dynamic Range

2010-02-28T13:27:00.002+01:00

I finally ~~converted~~ persuaded my boyfriend to start photography and he's really getting into it. Now we can take pictures together and we really enjoy it a lot. On the last Sunday of February we visited Solitude Castle again for taking photos. Since I have taken so many pictures of Solitude Castle already, I tried to focus on some new HDR shots. Here they are ...

I think it is hilarious that this small castle has a bus stop right in front of it.

Oh, Windows, I miss you so ... NOT

2010-01-13T20:58:00.005+01:00

Being a passionate Linux user, I'm missing out on all the "fun" that windows brings into our boring lives. Thank God I have Windows at work where it unfolded this sparkling gem of wisdom today.

15 Elves in the Christmas Bakery

2009-12-14T22:48:00.005+01:00

Yesterday, my BF and I were invited by another gay couple for their traditional "Zimtstern backen" (baking of traditional swabian star-shaped cinnamon christmas cookies). Some other straight couples and friends where there as well, and we were baking different christmas cookies together.

Another "task force" was decorating the living room, and another team was doing some magic in the kitchen downstairs and fixed a dinner for all of us. And after Dinner we sat together in the beautiful living room and ate our cookies and drank self-made egg liquor (we had to get rid of all the spare yolks) while the first snowflakes this winter were silently falling down outside, in the very cold night. When we went home, the hosts gave every couple a delicious traditional sweet yeast loaf with fruits and almonds.

I'm in such a christmas spirit now. That was just a perfect afternoon / evening / night.

Long time no see

2009-12-10T21:21:00.002+01:00

Today I was doing research on the Internet for my master's thesis (roughly about fuzzy search). I found a company that obviously is the market leader in that area. What a surprise that this company is just a few miles away. Even a bigger surprise: The person who is responsible at this company was the student sitting next to me during high school. And not only that, he's also been a very good friend, and I've even been his best man when he wedded his beloved wife quite a while ago.

What a pleasant surprise. I sent him an email right away. And after about 10 years without much communication, he will be coming to Stuttgart on Monday morning to meet up with me. I'm really looking forward to meeting him again.

November Rain

2009-11-30T11:57:00.002+01:00

Jebus, what a crazy month ... Especially Friday 13th and the weekend was pretty, pretty, pretty bad. I thought all the Friday 13th stuff is just common superstition, after getting an "expensive" letter from the tax authorities and a pink slip from my boss due to a company closing because of the financial crisis I started to realize that it could be more. But when I heard the bad news that my grandpa had died, I knew Friday 13th is a bitch.

So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Well, looking forward to Christmas and a three weeks vacation, which is needed indeed...

Splendor in the Grass

2009-10-14T12:16:00.004+02:00

I might have already said that I just love Pink Martini. But I can't stress it enough: Pink Martini is awesome.
I can hardly wait until their new album "Splendor in the Grass" will be published in a few days. I've already fallen in love to this album by the three preview tracks on Pink Martini on MySpace.
Not only that Thomas Lauderdale, the creative head of the ensemble, is also openly gay, and China Forbes is an awesome singer, they're also so inspired and amazing, and the "background story" of the band is very interesting, too.

Rigi, Rings, 3rd of October and other things

2009-10-03T12:27:00.003+02:00

Ok, I admit, I've been neglecting my blog ~~a little bit~~ lately. But here's a quick catchup for the very few regular readers left...

Last Month, my BF and I exchanged rings as a sign of our connection and love. I've never been in a relationship that serious, but it feels very good.

This week, we've been hiking on the Rigi, the place on top of the Queen of the Mountains where I've been so many times in my youth that it actually feels like home. And I was happy that my BF liked it very much as well. We had excellent weather and a great time. On the Rigi there are no cars allowed, so the air is clean and fresh and it's like paradise.

On the second day we walked to a nearby village. One part of the trail is the "Felsenweg", where you have a beautiful view over the Vierwaldstätter See (a very beatiful lake in the valley).

This was the view from the balcony of our room at the harborage.

On the way home we made a stop at the beautyful city Lucerne.

There was a fair in Lucerne and I found a beautiful reflection of the ferris wheel in the windows of the art museum.

Today, it's 3rd of October, it's the German 4th of July. Except it's not that cool. However, my dad turned 60 last week and celebrates it today...

Tethering from your Nikon to your Linux PC

2009-09-23T22:52:00.008+02:00

If you're using Windows, you can buy some software from Nikon to have Photo Tethering (I guess it's called Tethering). I.e. you take a picture with your camera and it pops up on your computer screen. It's used in studio photography and very useful. I missed it very much during the last three days of product photography.

I wanted to have that on Linux as well. There is an excellent library called gphoto2, that can do half of the trick (i.e. it can download a picture right after the shot), but it can't display it. So I played around a little bit and wrote that script:

#!/bin/bash

case "$ACTION" in
    download)
        pkill qiv
        qiv -l -f -m "$ARGUMENT" &
        ;;
    "")
        me=$(cd ${0%/*} && echo $PWD/${0##*/})
        gphoto2 --capture-tethered --hook-script=$me
        ;;
esac

To "install" it, place it somewhere on your path.

To use it, connect your Nikon camera to your computer via USB. Go to an empty folder in a shell and just start it:

rian@thunder:~Pictures/example$ tether

Then take pictures. They will be displayed on your screen and stored in your current folder.

For this to work, you need the image-viewer qiv (or use any other viewer and adjust the script) in its most recent version (older versions don't support the -l switch which autorotates the image), if you're using ubuntu jaunty, you need to install qiv from karmic.

And you have to install gphoto2 to access the camera as well.

Istanbul, we finally meet again

2009-08-16T12:19:00.002+02:00

Friday night I arrived in Istanbul for another business trip. Yesterday I had a very nice tour. On one hand I really love this city and I'm having a good time so far. On the other hand, work will start tomorrow and I'm curious how it will be this time...

Anthem of Wuerttemberg

2009-07-28T19:10:00.002+02:00

When you compare ancient anthems of different states, you'll see that about 99% of them praise the landscape, the prosperity, the victories, etc. But they're usually not about the state's habitants, nor about the advanteges of other states. Well, our anthem is different ...

Der Reichste Fürst

1. Preisend mit viel schönen Reden
Ihrer Länder Wert und Zahl,
Saßen viele deutsche Fürsten,
Einst zu Worms im Kaisersaal.

2. Herrlich, sprach der Fürst von Sachsen,
Ist mein Land und seine Macht,
Silber hegen seine Berge
Wohl in manchem tiefen Schacht.

3. Seht mein Land in üpp'ger Fülle,
Sprach der Kurfürst von dem Rhein,
Goldne Saaten in den Talern,
Auf den Bergen edler Wein!

4. Große Städte, reiche Kloster,
Ludwig, Herr zu Bayern, sprach,
Schaffen, daß mein Land den Euern
Wohl nicht steht an Schätzen nach.

5. Eberhard, der mit dem Barte,
Württembergs geliebter Herr,
Sprach: Mein Land hat kleine Städte,
Trägt nicht Berge silberschwer;

6. Doch ein Kleinod hält's verborgen:
Dass in Wäldern noch so groß
Ich mein Haupt kann kühnlich legen
Jedem Untertan in Schoss.

7. Und es rief der Herr von Sachsen,
Der von Bayern, der vom Rhein:
Graf im Bart! Ihr seid der reichste,
Euer Land trägt Edelstein!

The richest Prince

1. Praising with many beautyful words
The worth and number of their lands,
Many German princes sat,
Once in the emperor's hall in Worms.

2. Wonderful, said the prince of Saxony,
Is my land and its might,
Our mountains bear silver
In many deep mines.

3. See my land and its luxuriant wealth,
Said the prince elector of the Rhine,
Golden corn in the valleys,
On the mountains noble wine!

4. Big cities, rich monesteries,
Ludwig, prince of Bavaria said,
Make that my land
Has not less treasures than yours.

5. Eberhard, the one with the beard,
Württemberg's beloved ruler,
Said: My land has small towns,
Does not bear mountains heavy of silver;

6. But a treasure it keeps hidden,
that in forests yet so big,
I my head can boldly lay
into ev'ry subjects lap

7. And there said the prince of Saxony,
The one of Bavaria, the one of the Rhine:
Count in the Beard! You are the richest,
Your land carries precious stone!

Graf Eberhard im Barte (Count Eberhard with the beard), Württembergs beloved ruler boldy resting in a subject's lap

Solution found: nvidia 180 dkms build failed

2009-07-02T17:16:00.002+02:00

I couldn't switch to 2.6.28-13-generic Kernel on jaunty because the nvidia graphics driver kernel modules couldn't be compiled by dkms:

Examining /etc/kernel/postinst.d.
run-parts: executing /etc/kernel/postinst.d/dkms
* Running DKMS auto installation service for kernel 2.6.28-13-generic
*  nvidia (180.44)...nvidia (180.44): Installing module.
.....(bad exit status: 6)
Build failed.  Installation skipped.

Today I finally had time to inspect the problem, and found out the reason, and a very simple fix as well. This happened because "patch" wasn't installed.

So, typing those two commands fixed all problems:

sudo apt-get install patch
sudo dpkg-reconfigure linux-image-2.6.28-13-generic

In case anyone is stuck in the same place, try it out and let me know if it worked ...

Come aboard, we're expecting you ...

2009-06-01T20:10:00.001+02:00

Yesterday, the traditional gay party Pentecost boat cruise was on again. The BF and I also went to party on the open sea. It was a very pleasant party, like evey year. On the upper deck there was a Karaoke show, and on the lower deck a dance floor. Of course there were two outside decks where the BF and I were cuddling in the sunset. Was very beautyful.

The cruise went along ancient wineyards in the outskirts of Stuttgart near the river Neckar.

It was a very nice party and we're looking forward to next year's boat party.

International Day Against Homophobia

2009-05-17T17:30:00.001+02:00

I'm Rian from Germany and I'm so proud to be gay!

The Boat That Rocked - Ooops, I did it again ...

2009-05-11T23:54:00.002+02:00

I have a confession to make. Tonight I went to the movies again to see The Boat That Rocked again. I can't help, but I really like this flick. And the BF enjoyed it as well. I remember that I didn't want to go after I saw the Trailer before another movie. But I did. And I'm so glad I did, this movie is lovely and just great.

No, I don't get paid to promote it. However, if you're a representative of Universal and want to pay me for promoting one of your films on a blog that has no readers, get in touch. :)

The Boat That Rocked

2009-05-05T11:55:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I've been to the movies to watch "The Boat That Rocked", or ("Rock Radio Revolution", how it's called in German). It was amazing and hilarious. It's a confession of love to pop and rock music of the sixties.

Being a radio host myself, I obviously enjoyed a flick about a pirate radio station on a boat near the coast of Great Britain. They were broadcasting their own 24/7 radio program, because the official public radio station refused to play rock and pop music in the early years. However, 25.000.000 people in the United Kingdom were listening to the pirate radio and loved it. The radio DJs became famous and stars themselfes. While the government tried to get rid of them, they became even more popular.

Go, watch it, it's very entertaining and some parts are hilarious. By the way, the Boat "Radio Rock" never really existed, but the plot is based on true stories. If you liked "Notting Hill", "Love Actually" and "Four Weddings and a Funeral", you'll definitely love this one, too. It's made by the same creatives.

At the Frühlingsfest

2009-05-04T15:23:00.003+02:00

I can't believe the Frühlingsfest (Spring Festival) is already over. Those three weeks went by in no time. I had found hardly any time to visit it. However, it was much fun like always...

Twittering? Tweeting? Whatever ...

2009-05-04T00:42:00.002+02:00

I've been thinking about Twitter a lot lately. Particularly because there is all that fuss about it. I was talking with my co-workers often about the phenomenon of Twitter. They didn't get it either. I mean, it's not a very sophisticated web application, it seems to be very trivial, and I just started to understand its actual purpose today, however, it's ~~fucking~~ very popular. And suddenly everybody seems to be twittering, even my friends, and I didn't want to be left behind.

So I dove into the unknown waters of Twitter, or, should I rather say, I swung up to the branches to tweet the things nobody cares about?!

Bottom line, @rian76 is twittering. Or is it called tweeting? Microblogging??? Hell, just follow me!

We've been themeparked

2009-04-27T11:38:00.004+02:00

Yesterday, the BF and I went to Tripsdrill, a theme park very close to Stuttgart. It's the oldest amusement park in Germany, it was opened in 1929. It's not a very big park, but everything is done with love and everything fits into the theme of the park wich is "Swabia 1880". So everything looks like ancient and how it might have been in this area about 130 years ago, and since it's in a famous German wine region, very much is about wine somehow.

The village road at the entrance of the park showing some typical swabian houses.

A typical south German custom a long time a go was "Fensterln" (lit. translated "windowing"), where a boy climed up a ladder to his graceful maid to confess his love (and to bypass her parents). In the park there is a house with a ladder. And when you climb up different people apper at the window. E.g. the angry father. ;-)

This wooden roller coaster is less than one year old. It's big fun and the first part of a new themed area at the park.

This castle has a fast roller coaster and also a log flume with the highest and steepest decline in Europe (where I, by the way, got really wet)

The last dry spot on my clothes went away after riding this rapid rafting ride.

After the park had closed, we drove to a small city nearby to have dinner. We went to a very nice restaurant, sat outside at this street and had some great food. It didn't feel like just a weekend, it felt like a vacation. And especially during dinner I felt like being in France, while the BF insisted on feeling like being in Italy. A quarrel that couldn't be solved ;-)

Rian. Writer, Photographer, Designer, Editor, President

2009-04-23T22:22:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I had a shooting with a 20-year old boy for an ad for our newspaper. It's funny, how many tasks I do at this newspaper, although I'm not a professional in any of these fields. Since our last layouter and designer (a real one) went away, I'm doing all designing tasks, including the layout of the magazine. I've done four issues so far, people haven't really seen a difference. Does that mean I'm good, or that our last designer was really bad? I don't know ...
And Yesterday I was photographing this boy (did I tell you that I own a complete photo studio, with many studio flashes, backgrounds, softboxes, umbrellas and whathaveyou). The only thing I'm missing is experience. But that will (hopefully) come.
After I went home I craeted six or seven ads with this boy. After discussing all drafts with my staff this is the one that goes into print in the pride week schedule. And yes, it's quite dark, I've noticed. ;)

Staatsgalerie

2009-04-11T12:16:00.002+02:00

Inspired by the video in my last post, I decided to visit the Staatsgalerie to take some pictures.

What is Stuttgart?

2009-04-09T14:48:00.005+02:00

I could answer, that it's the capital of the German state Baden-Württemberg, or that it is a city with many baroque castles. I could answer that it's the hometown of philosophers like Hegel. Or the city where most inventions are registered, the city where the car was invented and Mercedes, Porsche and Bosch are founded and still headquartered. I could mention the many mineral wells.
I could say it's the city that had two (almost) openly gay Kings, or the city that had the first TV tower in the world. I could say it's the only big city that has a cog railway and could mention its cable car. I could talk about architectural unique and very famous neighbourhoods. I could speak about the many famous museums, the biggest three-divisions-theater (play, ballet and opera) in the world, the big green parks in the city, the wineyards and everything else that makes this town so lovely. Or I could just say: Watch this ...

Red Admiral

2009-04-06T23:48:00.002+02:00

Yesterday, while the BF and I were on a walk, we suddenly stumbled upon a nice Red Admiral Butterfly. Fortunately I was carrying my camera...

At The Mall

2009-03-22T00:57:00.002+01:00

Württemberg

2009-03-14T00:07:00.006+01:00

My State, 'Baden-Württemberg', is the result of a fusion of the former 'Duchy of Baden' and the 'Kingdom of Württemberg' in 1953. Stuttgart is the capital of the 'new' state, and it's been the capital of the former Kingdom of Württemberg. That means "we won". And it also means that the Badener (= the people of Baden) don't like us because of that. But that's a different story...

My boyfriend and I went to the Württemberg, a mountain in Stuttgart that is named like our state (in German "Berg" means 'mountain'). It was the place where the 'Burg Wirttemberg' ("Burg" means 'castle') was located from 1080 to 1819. It was the family seat of our sovereigns.

In 1820, King Wilhelm I had the castle demolished to build a mausoleum for his dead wife Queen Katharina. The mausoleum is still there, so the BF and I went there to see it.

It was a nice day with snow and sun, and we had a very nice time there together.

This is the view from the Württemberg to Rotenberg, a suburban district of Stuttgart

And this is my boyfriend trying to walk a heart-shaped trail into the snow. ;-)

Video killed the radio star

2009-03-10T16:55:00.002+01:00

... and my last radio show killed the rest. Well, last time I was on air was quite strange. I've never done a show all alone. Usually my co-host Thomas and I are hosting the shows together. And after 5 years we're a brilliant and very entertaining team, and our shows are interessting and good. Last Sunday, however, it was strange. First time all alone for two hours. I guess my show was quite boring and somehow too serious. And it was so strange, no buddy to have some jokes, no interaction ...
I was happy when the time was over, and I realized that I would stop doing the radio shows if my co-host would quit. The rest in our team does their shows alone. How boring must that be. I always knew, doing it together is more fun. But, I have to say, I now appreciate having a on-air-partner like I never did before...

"We're so lucky" a drama in 2 acts

2009-03-04T09:09:00.002+01:00

Act One:
small court room in a fictional rural village
Plaintiff: He stole my car.
Defendant: Yes, I stole his car. It's a nice car.
Judge: In the name of the people the court issues the following judgement: The defendant is found guilty of car theft. However, he likes the car and since he hasn't complaint about the car, he can keep it. The plaintiff has to bear the expenses of the trial, and has to gas-up ~~his~~ the defendants car. An appeal against the decision is impossible.

Act Two:
Federal Constitutional Court of a Western European country
Judge: The election of the Federal Parliament (hence, the government) in 2005 was carried out in some states in a way that is clearly against the Federal Constitution. However, the poll is still valid, and all ~~dangerous and evil~~ laws made by the parliament will stay valid.

Epilogue:
While act one was pure fiction and its absurdity is quite obvious, act two's absurdity is reality in ~~Germany~~ a country that better remains anonymous.

It's 1234567890 o'clock, Baby

2009-02-14T00:31:00.002+01:00

In Unix time, it's exactly 1234567890 o'clock ...

rian@thunder:~$ date +%s
1234567890
rian@thunder:~$ date
Sa 14. Feb 00:31:30 CET 2009

Using Linux. A resume.

2009-02-13T01:06:00.001+01:00

It must have been around 1996 when I became very curious about that Linux thingy. Back then, computers at home where still quite uncommon, and Linux not as popular as it is today. I read some Linux magazines, and finally bought a Slackware Linux on (many) CDs and installed it.

I was quite experienced with using and installing Windows and even DOS, because I had my first computer when I was very young and Windows didn't even exist, neither did Linux. But all my experiences with DOS and Windows were useless while installing and using Slackware Linux. Some things didn't really work (my fault), and I was examining and messing around with everything without really knowing what I did, so I installed and destroyed it many times. But at that time it was just out of curiosity. I never used it productively or worked on it.

In 1997 I met Ray, and we rented a nice office together with two other friends, and we created custom-taylored software solutions for different companies. By the way, Ray is also the one who made me learn Perl. I'm thankful for all eternities he made me learn it, and thus becomming a very advanced perl guru. He also introduced me to SuSE Linux which we were using on all our computers at the office.

Then I bought my first laptop computer. It was a used one and it had Windows95 pre-installed when I got it. But at the office the first thing I did was installing a SuSE Linux as the sole operating system on it. It must have been version 5.2. Back then there was no OpenSUSE, and I bought some releases and spent some money on it. You know, back then there was no high speed internet at home, downloading a Linux CD would have lasted many hours or even days. You had to buy CDs. It was not that I used Linux because it doesn't cost anything like it does nowadays, I used it because I was curious and knew it is more powerful, and I was willing to spend some hundred dollars on SuSE releases and books. But my private desktop PC at home was still mainly running Windows.

Then I went to university and got a ReadHat release as a gift at a RedHat event. I installed it at home, but not really liked it. At the same time somewhere at the end of 1999 I got hold of a Debian GNU/Linux, and it was just amazing. Setting it up was more difficult than with SuSE or RedHat, but its structure was clearer, its package management is superior to all others, and the Debian community was really free. There wasn't a company in the backround that pulled the strings and wanted to earn some money out of it like with SuSE or RedHat. I also tried many other distributions since then (Mandrake, Caldera, Turbolinux, Gentoo, ...), but Debian was just the bestest (sic!).

During college on a side job as administrator at a boat cruise vacation company, I had the task to test if the 50 workstations in the office can be switched to GNU/Linux because it is free (as in free beer). For me there was no doubt, it has to be Debian, but I just found a brand new distribution called Ubuntu. I tried its current release, which was also the first Ubuntu ever released. I couldn't see a big difference to Debian, so I rather sticked to Debian and tested that. But my boss decided to stick with Windows and throwing his money down the drain.

However, I still had my old Laptop which only had GNU/Linux on it, and a dual boot PC at my desk at home which didn't boot into GNU/Linux often after I saw Windows XP, which I liked at that time. For all the years I had a dual boot with Debian, but hardly used it. All work was done on Windows, and in 2005 I removed the Debian partition to get more space. I was a Windows guy all over again. Well, not to mention the MacBook I also own that runs OS X.

But then there came Windows Vista (which I really hate(d), by the way), and a new job with a Ubuntu workstation. And Ubuntu is just great. Beeing an offspring of Debian, it has all the features that I loved in Debian, but doesn't have the issues I had with Debian (quite outdated software versions in the stable release).

September 2007 after bravely using Vista for 6 weeks on a new computer, which really sucked big time (Vista sucks, not the new computer), I decided to replace Vista with Kubuntu GNU/Linux and use it exclusively. It was easy to set up, actually much easier and faster than setting up windows. And also MUCH easier than setting up other Distros (believe me, I've been through many GNU/Linux installations before, but no other was remotely as smooth and painless as this). But it was the first time in my life where I really used GNU/Linux for everything, not having a Windows as a backup.

So, now it's been about 16 months with only GNU/Linux, both on my desktop PC and my new laptop PC (and even on my cell phone). The first few days after the cut were hard, I had to learn many things from scratch. And learning a lot about new applications for different tasks. But here's my resume for the last 16 months with GNU/Linux:

The first few days were difficult. I was on cold turkey. But I didn't regret switching to GNU/Linux for a single second. The only thing I'm regretting quite often is that it took me 10 years from my first contact with GNU/Linux to using it exclusively. I always knew it's the better thing, but I always found a fake reason for not switching.
If you're in the same situation like I was: Just do it. Switch to GNU/Linux. And never look back.
There are many people who want to make you believe that you have to be an computer expert to use GNU/Linux. Well, it might have been true a while ago, but currently any noob can install and use it. In fact, if I needed to set up a computer for granny who has never used a computer before, I would use GNU/Linux and tweak it for her. Yes, I can do it, I can make it suitable for retired old people. I can do it because GNU/Linux gives me the freedom and the opportunities, not because I'm uber-smart. And I would know it would be a loyal and indestructable companion for her. She couldn't destroy it by clicking on a wrong button, and I know she wouldn't catch a virus, a trojan horse, a dialer, or whatever. And I know it would just work.
When I sit at a Windows Computer now (at friends), I get angry very fast. I'm not used on to the restrictions and uncomplete functionality anymore. During everything I do I think "this task would be SOOO easy on a Linux box". I can't believe I was able to endure this immature and lame Windows for so many years. I can't believe anybody else can. Well, maybe every Windows user endures it because he doesn't know how easy it could be done otherwise...
GNU/Linux does many things different. And you need to learn a little bit about it before you can benefit from its advantages. But its worth the effort. Totally.
I like that everything just works without installing additional drivers. Since I use Kubuntu I have real plug'n'play. Printer, webcam, SLR, mass storage devices, cell phone, bluetooth sticks, ISDN fax, UMTS networking, whathaveyou. I stick it in and it just works. Period. I don't need the driver CDs anymore that come with every product. I know, not every hardware works with GNU/Linux. But I've been lucky so far--and I tried many different devices. They all just worked. Many of those didn't work on vista though. Not even after installing their drivers manually.
I love the package manager (apt). Installing and removing software has never been easier. And no matter what software I need, it's always the same way to install it and to remove it again. Couldn't be simpler. I love that my system keeps itself up to date with the package manager. It fixes all vulnerabilities automatically and usually just a very short little while after they become known. And by upgrading the software automatically I can be sure to have a recent system with all components working together without any problems. And all this for the operating system itself, and also for all applications that I've installed. I love it, love it, love it.
Don't expect GNU/Linux to be a substitute for Windows. GNU/Linux is another philosophy. GNU/Linux is all about freedom and choice. Many can't imagine or understand what this means. I didn't either. But now I know, I've seen the light. And I see restrictions and contraints in proprietary products everywhere. And I can't any longer understand how they're getting away with it. I can't understand why a company should decide what I can or can't do. Shouldn't this be my descision?

Flashback: Track and Field Athletics and a Crashing Plane

2009-02-10T20:52:00.000+01:00

I didn't like sports in school. Each sports lesson was a nightmare. There wasn't one thing I was good at. It's strange, because my Mom was a sports teacher, my Dad coached a team, my Gandpa was president of the local sports club, we lived right next to the sports grounds in our little village--you get the idea.

Worst day each year in school there were the "Bundesjugendspiele" (federal youth athletic games). An entire day of broad jumping, high jumping, running, and other assorted pains in the ass. I hated it. Seriously. And I never got any award.

One year it was extremely bad. I think I was in 6th grade. I lived in a little village on top of a mountain. It was too small for its own school. There were only 3 other kids my age. Hence we went to a school in a small city in the valley. All pupils of the entire school were on the sports grounds. While I was talking to one of my teachers I saw a small plane flying in the valley between the mountains. Suddenly I realized that the plane was on fire. Much smoke came out at the rear, and if I remember correctly I also saw flames coming out. The plane came closer and closer, straight to the place where I was standing. Suddenly it made a turn to the right, I saw one person jumping out with a parachute, then the plane crashed on the ground at a mountain. We felt the heat of the explosion, and a HUGE mushroom-shaped fire started immediately. Of course the athletic games were over. I had problems to get home, because the plane destroyed the only road home. But the trains were still working.

In the news I heard that the one who escaped on a parachute was the co-pilot. He told what had happened. The pilots realized there's something wrong. They knew there was a fire at the rear. Since the valley is narrow they were looking for a place for emergancy landing, and found the sports grounds on a map. It would have been the perfect place. Suddenly they saw that there were children everywhere. They had to make a new plan very fast. The pilot decided to turn right. He knew he had to sacrifice his life. He knew he wouldn't survive. If he waited only one short second longer, they would have hit the sports grounds and possibly killed us.

It happened almost 20 years ago, but I'm thinking about it from time to time. And I'm thankful this pilot sacrificed his life. This must have been a very tough decision. And it had to happen so fast. I don't think everybody would have reacted that way. He was a brave man indeed.

Which film hero are you?

2009-02-08T11:18:00.000+01:00


Néo (Matrix) : 74%
Yoda (Star Wars) : 72%
Hannibal Lecter : 71%
Eric Draven (The Crow) : 68%
Jim Levenstein (American Pie) : 68%
James Bond : 67%
Indiana Jones : 66%
Forrest Gump : 66%
Batman / Bruce Wayne : 66%
Tony Montana (Scarface) : 66%
Maximus (Gladiator) : 66%
Schrek : 62%

Which film hero are you?

Rian, The Unexercised Movie Critic

2009-01-25T22:41:00.004+01:00

I've extensively been bugging all my real life friends about this. They can't stand it any longer. So I thought that I give it a try here ... ;-)

A few weeks ago the BF and I went to see a movie. It was a sneak preview, so we didn't know what we had to expect. At the same evening, right after the movie, I said that I wasn't really sure whether the movie is a shiny gem, or rather strange. After a few hours of sleep and some reading about the movie, I finally realized that it's definitely among the best movies I've ever seen. Maybe it's even taking the lead. It's a precious jewel of cinematics. A real masterpiece. "Two thumbs way up", like the New York Times would say.

It's not yet regularly scheduled in the movie theaters in Germany, but it will have it's official premiere in March. I'm sure I will see it again a few times at the movie theater. And I will buy the DVD. Although it has to be seen on a laaaaarge screen. In the USA it might already have been in the cinemas a few years ago.

Anyway, time to spill the beans. The title of this extraordinary movie is The Fall. You have to, I repeat, h-a-v-e t-o visit the homepage and watch at least the trailer and the gallery after finishing my post.

What makes this movie so special, you may ask.
I will tell you:

1. The Visual Experience - The director Tarsem Singh shot this film in 18 countries around the world at the most beautiful locations he could find in many years of traveling. Most (or all?) of the locations haven't been used as scenery of a movie ever before. Be prepared to see a fantasy world, that actually really exists: mystic temples, bright deserts, and blooming landscapes. And also the handsome actors, the remarkable costumes, and the feast of colors and the composition of each picture and scene. It's just utterly beautiful. It's the purest form of beauty. I would sell my soul to shoot just one picture like any scene in this movie.
I think I got some multiple orgasms in my eyes just by watching the beautiful visual compositions in each scene. And the excellent music adds up to it and made me shiver in pleasure for almost the entire movie.

2. The Story - Picture this, California, 1915. Alexandria (played by six year old Catinca Untaru) is in a hospital because she broke her arm. She meets Roy (Lee Pace), a stuntman whose latest stunt went wrong, who might never be walking again, and whose girlfriend left him for somebody else. He tells her an epic story, a story about love and revenge. His intentions aren't as altruistic as one might think...

3. The Two Levels - There are two stories in this film. The reality, and the story told by Roy. It's a pleasure to see how the two worlds interact, and how elements of the real world slip into the fictional story.

4. The Actors - I read that six year old Catinca Untaru was told that Lee Pace is really paralyzed. They didn't have written dialogs. They just knew what should happen, but the dialogs itself "just happened". Catinca couldn't speak English before they started with the movie. All this together adds up to the unique, natural and brilliant dialogs in the movie. Classy.

6. It IS Special - Simply said, it just IS a gem, and you should watch it. As soon as possible. If you can, watch it on a big screen at a movie theater. You won't regret it, I promise.

I know some of you are lazy (what other reason could there be that I have many returning readers (some stop by every day), but just little comments), so I've added the trailer to this post. But do yourself a favor. Visit the homepage www.thefallthemovie.com and also watch the gallery.

Wedding at New Year's Eve

2009-01-02T22:02:00.006+01:00

There's something I wanted to tell you. My BF and I did something crazy at New Year's Eve. No, not what you were thinking. We went to Berlin for a few days, and we stayed in the district Wedding. We celebrated New Year's Eve at the biggest party in Europe: in front of the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, the capital of Germany.

The Brandenburg Gate probably is for Germany like the Statue of Liberty for the USA. Around this Gate there were more than one Million celebrating New Year's Eve. That's about twice as much people than inhabitants of Washington DC.

During the day we've been at the famous Alexanderplatz, and also were on top of the TV tower and enjoyed the view of the city.

This is the Rotes Rathaus (Red City Hall), where the major of Berlin works. By the way, he's gay and coined the now famous words "I'm gay and it's good" (German: "Ich bin schwul und das ist gut so").

Before we went to the big party, we had some ~~champagne and good sex~~ sleep in our hotel room. After that we put on all clothes we had, because it was very cold outside. We met a very nice straight couple in the crowed and celebrated together with them. They were very nice, it was a very pleasant start into the new year.

The picture above is in the Gedächtniskirche, which has been severly damaged during world war II. This is the only part that's still existing. It's also a famous landmark in Berlin.

These stones mark where the Berin Wall was before 1989. Right next to the wall there is the Reichstag, it's where our parliament does an ~~awful~~ awesome job.

Ho, ho, ho

2008-12-25T12:49:00.002+01:00

Merry Christmas!

Escape Madness

2008-12-11T23:15:00.007+01:00

I stumpled upon something funny at work today. It might help being a fellow programmer to consider this being funny. It took some time today to come up with a solution ...

Task: Change a path in a text file during a build process using the java build tool ant.

Solution: Use a Regular Expression to scan the text file and replace the value.

This is where the madness begins: You need to escape a backslash. Probably multiple times ...

2⁰ = 1
The path contains one backslash:
C:\my\path

2¹ = 2
You need to escape the \ in the properties file, it should read:
my.path=C:\\my\\path

2² = 4
If you want to print the Path in a Java String (which ant more or less uses), you need to escape each \ with \\, that becomes:

"C:\\\\my\\\\path"

2³ = 8
If you want to put that in a regular expression, you need to escape each \ with \\, which will lead to:
"C:\\\\\\\\my\\\\\\\\path"

2⁴ = 16
This expression should be generated by another regular expression, so each \ needs to be replaced with \\, hence:
"C:\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\my\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\path"

2⁵ = 32
Put the thing into an build.xml file for ant, you you'll end up with 32 (thirty two!!!) backslashes to have one in the end. Without escaping 1 (one) backslash with 16 backslashes (written as 32, because each one of those 16 needs to be escaped), it won't work:

<propertyregex property="jboss.dir.escaped"
             input="${$jboss.dir}" regexp="\\"
             replace="\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"
             global="true"/>
<replaceregexp match="(?&lt;=jboss.local.dir=).*$"
             replace="${jboss.dir.escaped}" flags="gm">
<!-- yadda, yadda, yadda -->
</replaceregexp>

Now that's efficiency. Thanks a lot, java folks.

Things like that never happen to me in perl. Oh dear perl, I really love you. For a reason.

Silent Night

2008-12-08T14:54:00.006+01:00

The lakes in Stuttgart are all frozen, and the New Castle (first image) and the Opera (second image) are reflecting on the ice. It looks so peaceful...

Christmas Season

2008-12-01T13:08:00.003+01:00

I really love Christmas Season, with all the christmas markets, the warm colors and all the joy. Last weekend the BF and I had a great time together, enjoying the holiday spirit.

Stuttgart is colorful

2008-11-24T14:48:00.003+01:00

Yesterday at around 5pm (jebus, sun goes down early these days) we've been strolling around in the city, heading to a café for some heavy double choclate fudge cake and some coffee, we came across these shop windows and I just liked them.

Before that, the BF and I had a very nice walk in the snowy sub-suburban outskirts of Stuttgart. Or, to say it differently, in the haunted forests of nowhere. We came past some teeny-weeny ancient castles hidden in the forests, used by our former Kings as hunting seats. It was a very pleasant day together, and we had much fun in the white winter-wonder land, with all the snow on the trees. And also with the glassy trails on the way back to the city, where the warmth of the café reimbursed us for the frostbites and the starvation we had to endure in the enchanted and endless forests of our beloved former Kings.

In the city they're quite busy preparing the christmas market, that will open to the public in three days. It's one of the biggest christmas markets in Germany, and it exists for about 350 years. Looking forward to having some mulled wine and sugarroasted almonds...

Something I didn't miss ...

2008-11-14T22:24:00.002+01:00

In the last four years without a close relationship I totally forgot how exhausting a quarrel with your boyfriend can be. For sure I didn't miss that. Argh!

Going to see the kitty

2008-11-07T09:10:00.002+01:00

This weekend is my Mom's birthday. I'm looking forward to seeing her and the family again. And also our cute tomcat.

Congrats, America!

2008-11-05T10:37:00.002+01:00

Dear Americans:
I'm quite relieved about your latest election results. Although by the time of writing not all votes have been count, it seems like we've got a winner already.
I'm very happy about your decision, and I really hope the new President can undo most of the damage He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did to your country, your society, your jurisdiction, and the reputation of your country in the rest of the world.
Although this might not be relevant for you, I need to say that I'm looking forward to visiting your country again.
The rest of the world (at least the part I can speak of) says thank you very much, dear Americans!
Best regards
Rian

Falling for Fall

2008-10-28T00:53:00.000+01:00

Consultation -- Kind of

2008-10-18T19:41:00.009+02:00

Do you know this? Something's happening, and you know this would make a good posting, but you can't find any time to put it up, and suddenly it's forgotten?

Well, for one year now (since then), I wanted to blog about this:

TheGuy and I had spent a beautiful afternoon at the bank of Manhattan. (Not the thing with the green papers, the one near the Hudson, I guess it's also called river park). When we were back at his building (but he has moved a few weeks ago, so by the time I'm writing this, it's his former building) and walked to the elevator, a small old woman with huge luggage was talking to the doorman. She was coming back from a trip. It was a warm and sunny day, and TheGuy was bare-chested, showing off his cute abs and pecs. When the elevator came, the old Lady joined us in the elevator, and they were joking. I realized they know each other. No wonder, he told me she's his next door neighbor.

But somehow she was very familiar to me as well, but I didn't understand why. She was making jokes about TheGuy's bare chest, that this would be too sexy, and that I'm lucky for having this handsome guy. Not exactly what I had expected from an old Lady. I thought old ladies are prude. TheGuy told her I'm from Germany, and then she perfectly spoke German to me. We helped her carry her luggage to her apartment and talked for a little while.

Back at TheGuy's apartment, he asked, "Do you know her?". I said, "Not really, but she is very nice and amazing, and in a weird way she was familiar to me". He said, "Well, she's quite famous. She's Dr. Ruth."

I'm very proud and pleased I met this remarkable and wonderful woman, and had the chance to visit her at home and have a little chat with her.

Literature: The Visit

2008-10-17T13:27:00.003+02:00

One of the best-known contemporary literary critic in German TV and radio has exactly the same name as I have (which is not a very common name like Matthew Smith or something like that). He grew up in my town as well. We get confused a lot. If you enter my our name, our city, and "radio" or "media", you'll find his entries pretty much mixed up with mine, since I do a radio show about culture (by the way, the next show is all about books) and publish many articles in gay magazines.

It happens quite regularly that I get manuscripts from young authors by mail. "I know you're a very busy man, but could you plaese read my manuscript and tell me what you think" -- "Uhm, I'm not the one you think I am, we just have the same name." -- "Could you please read it anyway???"

"Are you the real XXX?"-- "I am a real XXX, but probably not the one you're thinking of."

"Rian, I stayed up all night because I saw that you'll be on [generic late night show], but it wasn't really you..."

To live up to expectations, I want to write about an excellent book by the Swiss author Friedrich Dürrenmatt: "Der Besuch der alten Dame" In English: The Visit. (see article in Wikipedia)

I had to read it in school when I was about 15 years old. I read the entire book in one evening, because I couldn't stop. It deals with the themes of punishment, greed, revenge, and moral strength in a very interesting and yet entertaining way.

I've almost forgotten how brilliant this book is. But currently I'm sick, I cought a flu, and by pure accident I saw it on TV today. I need to read it again, and you might want to read it as well. (hint)

Wasen At Night

2008-10-04T23:49:00.000+02:00

Needless to say, I love the Cannstatter Wasen. This time I'm going to bore you with some pictures I took at night.

New Kind of Conversation

2008-09-30T11:59:00.001+02:00

Scene 1: outside, two ~~gays~~ guys are relaxing on a bench in the smooth autumn sun, in a big crowd of people, Sunday afternoon.

Me: *yawning* Gosh, I'm so tired.
Him: me too. *snuggling up to me*
Me: It's weird. I feel like having a hangover, although I didn't drink anything last night at the party.
Him: But we went to bed very late. And we went to sleep even much later ... *smiles naughtily*
Me: And you chased me out of bed way too early this morning.
Him: I just asked you if you want coffee or cuddling in bed, and you chose the coffee.
Me: You were wide awake, drudging at the coffee machine in the kitchen, and you just asked if I want coffee or stay in bed. You didn't mention the cuddling at all ...
Him: Would you have stayed in bed if I literally said "cuddling"?
Me: Of course.
Him: Awww. *hugs me*
Passerby: Gays are sooooo drippy ...

I haven't had a conversation like that in ages. Oh, by the way, did I mention that I have a cute new boyfriend? I wanted to tell you for weeks now, but never found the right time to do so.

Slightly Gay Moments

2008-09-30T09:00:00.000+02:00

Cannstatter Wasen

2008-09-29T14:46:00.003+02:00

Finally, Canstatter Wasen has started again. I love the rides and the good food, but I also appreciate the nice colors at the festival.

For a change no HDR images. I've bored you with HDR images enough. In fact, these images haven't been changed on my computer at all (except adding the black border).

Layman's Guide to Acceptable HDR Images (batteries not included)

2008-09-23T11:52:00.010+02:00

Since I got some e-mails and instant messages about my HDR images, I've decided to write a short tutorial for absolute Newbies. Anyway, seems like there are some readers of my blog...

Warning: HDR is harmfully addictive!

First Step: Software
Get yourself a HDR Software. There are many different programs out there in the wild. But since I use and adore Linux, I was limited in my choices somehow. I use Qtpfsgui, which is freely available for Windows, Mac and of course Linux. The results of my first few attempts were quite disappointing. But now I know the reason:
I didn't have this handy guide ... ;-)

Second Step: Source Images
~~Maybe~~ even more important than a decent software are good pictures to start with.

Don't: In most tutorials, you can read that you need to take 3 to 7 pictures, i.e. one correctly exposed, one (to three) underexposed, and one (to three) overexposed. Some cameras can do that automatically ("exposure bracketing") . But, in fact, you need a tripod, and even then, people or things do move a little bit, which forces you to stitch your images (if you ever need to do it, use hugin).

Do: I'm using just a single image. The secret is, you need to take a RAW image. Most digital cameras can write RAW images. Usually the camera processes the data from the image sensor and saves a jpg. In this step, the camera applies white balance, some sharpening algorithms, exposure corrections and all that stuff. In a RAW file, you have the "real" data, without any corrections. The advantage of a RAW image over another format is, that it contains more color depth and more dynamic range. And aren't HDR (high dynamic range) pictures all about dynamic range?!

So, my advice: Set your camera to save the images as RAW and use just a single RAW image.

Let's use this picture for our little workshop. As you can see, it's a bad image. Almost no details in the dark parts. But I underexposed it like that on purpose. I wanted to capture the structure of the clouds. The software is quite good in correcting underexposed parts (like the buildings), but an overexposed sky would lose it's structure and would be a plain white area. Not exactly what we want, am I right?

Step 3: Setting up your Software
Before you start, change one setting in Qtpfsgui. This will save you a lot of time and frustration. Go to the options and add a -w (or -a) to the raw convertion parameters. Without that, your images will have a mean color cast.

Step 4: Create the HDR (finally)
Click on "New Hdr..."

Then, click on "Load Images", and select your RAW image. Remember, most people use three to seven images here, but we only use one, our RAW image. Efficient, huh?

Just click on "Next >", and then "Finish". The default settings should be good enough for us. After a little while, we can see our new HDR image (see picture below). But that's not what we expected, right? Usually you use tonemapping on your HDR to get the images you probably know as HDR...

Step 5: Tonemapping
Click on "Tonemap the HDR" on the gui, which brings up our tonemapping window. Here you can use different Tonemapping algorithms (where I prefer "Fattal" most of the time).
Select the Tab labeled "Fattal", and press "Apply".

With the default settings(!), you should end up with an image like that:

I usually play a bit with the sliders, you will learn quite fast what each one does, and how you need to push them, to get the results you want. Use a small image for this process, because it's generated much faster than a big one.

When everything is adjusted for a breathtaking image, switch to a higher resolution and generate the image.

Step 6: Save and say "Wow!"
If you have an image that fits your taste, use "Save as..." to save the tonemapped image. Now is the right time to be proud of your work. Show it to friends and impress them.

Step 7: Show me your art
If you created a HDR following this guide, I would highly appreciate your feedback, and also a link to your image. Show me your baby. ;-)

Yet another HDR Image

2008-09-22T09:15:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I've been to Schloss Solitude in Stuttgart to take some pictures, together with Jim, who also likes to take pictures. I decided to make HDR images out of my shots. So here they are.

HDR of Stuttgart Old Castle

2008-09-09T15:08:00.004+02:00

I've been playing around with taking HDR images for a while now. Time to share something here. I took it today at the Old Castle in Stuttgart. I like the effect that it doesn't really look like a picture, but rather like a paintbrush art or whatever ...

Stuttgart, Feuersee, 9pm, die Frisur sitzt

2008-09-05T08:52:00.001+02:00

Why does it sometimes take a picture to realize, that your town has very beautyful places?

Curtainly a World Record

2008-09-03T14:50:00.005+02:00

Yesterday I went to the New Castle, because I wanted to take some pictures at night. Unfortunately, something's blocking the view, what I didn't know before. Ok, so I got curious and wanted to know what it is. It's the world's largest curtain, and it will go to the Guinness Book of Records. Well, as if someone would be needing that. Maybe that's some compensation for our bad success at the Olympic Games this year.

Anyway, another unusual view of the New Castle...

Model Picture Shooting

2008-09-02T19:43:00.005+02:00

I was taking some pictures of two cute boys for a gallery in our gay magazine. I thought that someone would like them as well, so I also post them here on my blog...

Crazy world

2008-08-12T23:12:00.002+02:00

I'm in this project for about one and a half year. And I've always been able to keep out of all fights. But today I finally made it to the battle field. :-(

If this was my real job, today I would have quit. And now I need to go to bed, bad day ahead ...

I'm Stuck

2008-08-11T22:18:00.003+02:00

So now I'm trapped in Istanbul. Today they ~~forced me~~ asked me to postpone my flight. And I have a Turkish cell phone, and today I also got an own e-mail address at that Turkish company, and my own desk. And plans for my next visit are already made. They've even asked me about taking an apartment here. But I hope they were kidding.

More scaring, I'm starting to understand what "the natives" are talking. And I can even participate in very low level conversations. How are you - good, thank you, and you - good as well. How was your day - was ok, I was quite busy, but now I'm enjoying my tee - ok, have a nice evening - thanks, you too ...

I guess I will have to become an Istanbul citizen soon...

Today we had our evening tee (yes, you drink a lot tee here) at a wonderful café at the Bosporus, with a very nice view over the sea, outdoors under huge trees ... Very lovely.

Istanbul Moments

2008-08-10T11:18:00.002+02:00

Merhaba! As I said before, I'm in Istanbul right now for a business trip. The scope of my work has changed very much (what was said before I arrived here, and what I really do). The plan was, that I help them to improve their data, by helping them to set up and abide by a well-known standard (i.e. well-known by me and most companies in that field, but not by them).

But when I arrived here, the scope changed from being an adviser to being an inspector. They introduced me to the rest as "the inspector". And they said that I'm here to inspect their processes, what they're doing wrong, and that I can ask everybody everything, and they have to show me everything I want to see.

As an result, most of the workers there are kinda afraid of me. Afraid I will say he or she does everything wrong. And I can tell that some feel really threatened by me. When I came here, I thought I had to solve technical problems, but very soon I realized, that all technical problems here are more or less political problems. One says, "This is not possible", but I check it, and come up with a solution for the technical problem, but then I figure out, that the technical problem was just a fake excuse for not doing something in a way the other group wanted.

The company is deeply divided into two groups, and it's not only a "we don't like each other", it's more or less a "we try to destroy each other". Of course my friends are all in one group, and I hang out with only one group after work. So the other group watches me very carefully during work. Kinda strange.

And here's a recipe for developing a severe paranoia: Attend a few 6-hour meetings with 12 top-managers, Share holders, CEO and other important people, that is held entirely in Turkish (because most of them don't speak English or German), where everybody wears suits and looks like a manager, but yells at each other like in a street gang fight. And you hear your name yelled in every other sentence, and they're pointing at you. That should do the trick for a real good paranoia.

What was translated to me after that was that one was accusing the other that he's not doing it right and I will prove that and so on. That's why my name came up a few times. My boss was also there and I know he's entirely on my side, so I believe that's really what has been said in that meeting.

But after work (or on weekends) the city is absolutely amazing. It's very beautiful and exciting. Every part is sooo different, it's so divers and has everything. One minute you feel like in the orient, the other like in Paris in the most expensive fashion district, and everything inbetween. There's lot's of energy in the city, and the streets are full of life, like in no other place (in the western world) I've been before.

And the food is soooo good. I had very good food every day, and the most delicious deserts ...

Yesterday (Saturday) evening we (me and a group of nice co-workers and their friends) went to a very nice club here in my area with very beautiful music and delicious cocktails. Was a very pleasant evening.

I will be here for at least one other week (maybe going back on August 18th), but they've asked me if I could stay till the end of August already. They've also ~~demanded~~ asked a few times if I could stay for 6 months or even for good. They offered me a permanent job a few times...

Panoramic View of Stuttgart Main Station

2008-07-23T01:07:00.007+02:00

Happy Birthday to me

2008-07-21T17:41:00.005+02:00

Me: Hi Rian, Happy Birthday to You!
Rian: Oh thank you!
Me: I hope you have a pleasant day!
Rian: Oh well, so far it was quite ... but let's see what the rest of the day will bring.
Me: Have you seen the Buddy Bears Exhibition in Stuttgart?
Rian: Huh? Buddy Bears? What's that?
Me: It's an exhibition in front of the New Castle in Stuttgart. There's a bear-ish artwork for every nation. Quite cute.
Rian: Did you take pictures?
Me: Yes, I took some at night. Let me show you ...

Rian: Beautiful pictures.
Me: Thank you. I took them last weekend. You can click on one to see an entire gallery.
Rian: No thanks, I'm good. Gotta go!

Stuttgart Gay Pride - Opening Gala

2008-07-20T18:18:00.005+02:00

This might be boring to some, but since I don't have any readers anymore (apparently), nobody would mind.

Yesterday was the start of our Gay Pride Week with a glamorous Opening Gala. Next Saturday will be the parade, and on Sunday a big gay street fair. We (the stuff of our gay newspaper) will march in the parade and also have a booth at the street fair. And we're hosting 3 events during this week as well.

I (and some other members of the board of our newspaper) were invited as VIPs and fetched at home by a limousine. But I declined that last offer. I don't like the hype. And I live about 200 yards away from the venue, that would have been silly. But I was glad to be a VIP who came on foot.

I took some pictures of the Gala. I was allowed to take some, because we're also official media partner of Gay Pride Stuttgart. By the way, in Germany, we call Gay Pride "CSD" which stands for "Christopher Street Day". This is the entrance to the venue where the gala was held.

This woman is Laura, she owns all gay clubs and a gay pub in our town. She is straight, but everybody loves her, and she loves "her gay children", like she refers to all gays. She donates a fortune to charity, for AIDS prevention, and she's also a very kind and generous supporter of our newspaper and other gay institutions in our state.

This is Chris, the chairman of the organization that arrages our Gay Pride.

This is Gabi Zimmer, member of the European Parliament, the patron of our Gay Pride.

And this is the host of the evening, a very famous drag queen I really like. Usually.

March Order

2008-07-16T11:10:00.002+02:00

Today I got my "march order" to go to Istanbul for another business trip. They wanted me to go as soon as possible. But Gay-Pride is coming up next week, and my our gay magazine hosts some events and stuff, and I don't want to be absent during that time. Plus, my grandparents will have their 60th wedding anniversary and gonna celebrate it with the family at the end of July.

So I will go to Istanbul on August 2nd. This time I've got an one-way ticket only so far. End of mission not sure yet. About 3 or 4 weeks have been mentioned in E-Mails. That Turkish company also offered me to financially cover a one week vacation at the beach somewhere in the south of Turkey after I've finished my work in Istanbul. Tempting. But also Istanbul is a very beautyful city and I'm happy about going back again.

Failure to Deliver

2008-07-15T10:39:00.006+02:00

I'm soooo sorry. Some of my posts ended with "I'll post pictures later". But I never did. So I try to catch up now.

Coverboy Contest
I wrote about the Coverboy Contest of our gay magazine a while ago. It was a very pleasant evening, and I enjoyed my duty in the jury very much. ;)
And the boys were really nice guys, some of them will join our formation at Stuttgart Gay Pride in two weeks. Here are some pictures of the evening:

Between the first (fully clothed) and second (swimm wear) round, there was a big show part. Here's also a picture of one part of the show.

It wasn't easy to find a winner, but we're very pleased with our current "Mr. Schwulst". Here's the cover of the current July issue of our magazine:

Because the jury couldn't find a consent about who should win, we decided to have more than one winner, so this event yielded more than just one cover. More pictures of the event can be found here (select one of five sub-galleries at the bottom of the page).

Linux Cell Phone
I wrote that I ordered a cell phone that runs Linux as its operating system, and Doug wrote in a comment that he's interested in what I think about it. It's a Motorola ROKR Z6. It's in use for 4 months now, and I really like it. I mean, you don't really realize that there's Linux inside. It just behaves like a regular cell phone. And it's very easy to use.
I'm very happy with it, it had never let me down so far. One thing is a little bit funny, but doesn't really bother me: My old cell phone was ready about 1 second after you switched it on. The new one needs about 25 seconds to boot up. Well, it has to start a real Linux system. But after that, it's very stable and solid, and the battery has a long life compared to my old Sony Ericson. I would recommend it to everyone, it's really fun to use it.

1,58 Euros per liter = 9,41 U.S. dollars per US gallon

2008-07-01T09:02:00.003+02:00

Jesus, gas is quite pricy in Germany these days...

Shitty day beyond

2008-06-24T23:58:00.003+02:00

The date with my boss wasn't that bad. I convinced him to give my co-worker another chance. So he got one more month to prove he's worth it. I hope my co-worker can do it.

But most of the time we were talking about me and the quality of my work. I'm sooo glad. He totally buttered me up. How happy they are with my work and that they hope I'm completely happy there and all that kind of things. And that I'm an important part of the company and everybody would like me very much and, and, and...

I'm usually not having a good opinion about myself. But this felt so good and I was very, very happy. He also offered me to work in one of our offices in the USA for 6 months to see if I would like it, and then decide if I want to stay. There's one office near San Francisco (Palo Alto, to be precise), and another one in "my" city: New York. I think that's something I will do.

Shitty day ahead

2008-06-24T09:46:00.004+02:00

Our CEO sent me an email yesterday that he needs to talk to me this afternoon. And I know it won't be just tea time and a little chat. No, I'm not really in trouble. At least not in an obvious way.

He also sent me the topic of our little date. He said that he and somebody else are concerned about the quality of my office mate's work and that he would be too slow and all that stuff, and that they need to talk to me about it, since I'm the only one who works on the same tasks together with him.

And it's bad. I really like him very much. He is a very nice guy (no, I'm not attracted to him, neither do I have a crush. It's just professional), and we get along so well. Especially since we've been in Istanbul together.

And I'll be sharing the office again for the entire day, and at the same time I will always think about what might happen. And he doesn't know anything about it. Strange. Very strange.

It's true, he is a little bit slow, but he's quite new and the things we do just need much time. I need to convince them, to give him another chance. I guess he's not already fired, otherwise they wouldn't talk to me about it, would they?

3 Days Left

2008-06-10T23:16:00.002+02:00

until I will meet TheGuy again.

Unfortunately, I've hardly been busier than in the last days. I haven't really had any time to be happy about it so far. Looking forward to the weekend anyways...

Today's Quote

2008-05-31T17:12:00.002+02:00

Please hold me close and whisper that you love me
And promise that your dreams are only of me
When you are near, everything’s clear
Earth is a beautiful heaven
Always I hope that we follow the star
And be forever floating above

I know a falling star can’t fall forever
But let’s never stop falling in love

Taken from the absolutly wonderful "Let's never stop falling in Love" from Pink Martini.

Back from Istanbul

2008-05-01T22:59:00.006+02:00

As I wrote in an earlier post, I had to go to Turkey for a business trip. At first I was a little bit scared. Foreign culture and all that stuff. But now that I'm back I must say it was a real pleasure. And our business partners were very nice. We spent most of the time with two people from the Turkish company we were visiting, and they also invited us for dinner every night and showed us the beautiful city after work.

I took many pictures, but with my cell phone. But my co-worker took some with his camera and he will send them to me. I might publish some more as soon as I get his.

On the first and second picture you can see the area where our hotel was. And here we also had our first lunch, and the first traditional Turkish food. Yummy!

I had eggplants and Kebab (like turkish BBQ). For dessert we had candied fruits with a very thick and sweet milk cream. At least I thought it were fruits. But it turned out it were candied olives, eggplants and tomatoes. And also candied whole walnuts (with the shell, by the way. Yes, you can eat it when it's candied).

Then we drove to the Bosporus and had a coffee at this place. By that time we and our host were still like strangers. You know, these awkward silent moments when you think you should say something, but can't figure out what.

But that changed very soon. On the next picture you can see Hüseyin and Gökçe. They were our fantastic hosts and the people in the Turkish company we discussed everything. After a short while they felt like very good and close friends. They were really amazing.
Our workdays were very productive and efficient, but after work they were like good friends.

Here we went out together with their friends, and I'm fortune telling to Osman by reading his coffee grounds. It was a very funny evening and we laughed so much that my cheeks were hurting.

Ok, some tourist stuff. This is inside Hagia Sofia (Ayasofya Camii Müzesi). 1400 years ago it was the most important ortodox christian church, later it was the most important islamic mosque. And today it's a museum. It was the largest cathedral in the world for nearly a thousand years, until the completion of the Medieval Seville Cathedral in 1520.

Inside Hagia Sofia you can find Christian and Islamic symbols, which looks quite uncommon. Here for example a mosaic with huge parts made of gold.

This is Hagia Sofia from outside. Unfortunately it was raining that day.

This is inside the Blue Mosque, which is also quite famous for Istanbul, but it's still a mosque.

This is outside of Blue Mosque.

This is Blue Mosque from a distance.

That was the view from my hotel room in Kadiköy, which is on the Asian part of Istanbul. Istanbul is the only big city that is on two continents. Our hotel was on the Arabic part, not the European.

This is a famous breakfast area in Istanbul. At least that's what Hüseyin said. We had a very nice brunch on Saturday right at the sea, together with some friends of our hosts.

This was on the market. Which was also very impressive.

Here is a picture from another part of the town.

It was a very pleasant trip and we had a fabulous time (well, except the sweet custard-like dessert that also contained chicken breasts, called Kazandibi). In fact, they want me to come down for two weeks in May to finish the project. And I'm actually really looking forward to that. I hope it's gonna happen. They also tried to hire me for good. "Write down what you want. House, car, office, ... you'll get it". I was laughing. "That's not a joke. I'm serious. Just write it down ..."

Today's song

2008-04-21T15:10:00.000+02:00

I feel shitty
oh so shitty
I am icky, too picky, and gay
And I pity
Any guy who feels like me today

I am boring
oh so boring
It's alarming how boring I can be
and so shitty
that nobody likes to spend life with me

Lalala la la la lala

See that ugly dork in the mirror there?
(What mirror where?)
Who can that fatso be?
Such a shitty face
Such a shitty dress
Such a shitty smile
Such a shitty me!

I'm rejected,
so rejected
I'm neglected, dejected, alone
And nobody
Wants a date with such a moron.

Coverboy Contest

2008-04-19T15:46:00.002+02:00

Today there is a Coverboy Contest for our Magazine. In a beauty pageant like event the 15 hottest boys of all applicants will compete to be on the next cover of our magazine.

I'm looking forward to seeing the swim wear round. :-) A jury and the audience will decide who will win the photo shooting. I'm really excited, since I'm one of the three jury members. And there will be a show with drag queens, singers and other stuff as well. I hope it'll be a nice evening.

Happy Birthday, TheGuy

2008-04-10T09:36:00.006+02:00

Today is the Birthday of someone who is very important for me. Unfortunately we haven't been in touch for a while. But I think of him at least once a day and I miss him so much. I never wanted to post a picture of him to protect his privacy. But I found this one taken in Paris at the Banks of the Seine (which have been added to the UNESCO's list of World Heritage Sites) in the late night (the chubby one on the right is me, by the way). The quality of the picture is very poor because it was so dark, but that's kinda supposed to be like that. It will still protect his privacy, but reminds me of a wonderful time together with him.

The two weeks in Paris with TheGuy last summer were absolutely amazing. If I could turn back time ...
But TheGuy might be here again this spring/summer, and we've already been talking (long ago) about a Paris 2.0. That would be great. I will call him later today because of his birthday. I hope we can figure out a plan to meet again soon.

Lesson for today: a black T-shirt and black jams make you almost invisible at night. For better invisibility use long sleeves and trouser legs.

I am dreaming of a White Christmas Easter

2008-03-23T12:05:00.003+01:00

Christmas Eve is the most important part for children of German Christmas celebrations. It's the first day with the X-Mas tree in Germany, and the perfect X-Mas Eve is a white X-Mas, with snow. When I was a child, Christmases usually were white. Alas, I think the last 15 years have been without snow.

However, today is Easter Sunday. Perfect would be green grass, daffodils, tulips and sunshine. Yesterday was cold, but no snow. The picture has been taken this morning. It really was a big surprise for me.

I guess Easter is much more important in Germany than in the USA. It's also a big holiday with presents and good food. And of course with huge family gatherings. Since I overslept last Christmas sick and with high fever, this feels much more like Christmas today. And for the rest of you without snow: Happy Easter!

First Day of Spring

2008-03-21T15:28:00.003+01:00

The Spring-Queen wishes everybody a marvelous and delightful spring and Happy Easter Holidays!

For the curious ones: This picture has been taken on last year's gay pride in Stuttgart, in July 07. I like the raw manliness punctuated by the lei, and the masculine hand posture. We alpha-males really are the butchest. ;-)

System.out.print( life.getChanges() );

2008-03-09T13:27:00.001+01:00

So many times I'm thinking, "this would make a good blog post". But I never find time to actually post it. So here are just some fragments of the topics that would have served as single posts...

Work is quite strange recently. There was a re-organization and we have to leave our nice office and move to another building that isn't equally nice anymore, and our space is taken over by another department. And some of my former office neighbours are moving to different buildings, I'm transferred to another unit to new co-workers and my boss will get her baby soon and will be on leave and everything changes. So I'm curious what the next weeks will bring.

Good thing, I will go to Istanbul for a business trip for a few days by the end of the month and my boss agreed to pay the hotel for the weekend as well, so there's a small vacation included. I'm very excited since I've never been in Turkey before. And I've never been on a business trip before either.

My old cell phone is quite old and is expected to fall apart any minute. No, it's actually not that bad, but I wanted a new one. There was one from Nokia that I really wanted. But Nokia isn't very popular in Germany these days (after getting high subsidiaries from the government and now closing a big plant in Germany and firing thousands of people). After Linux runs like a charm on both my workstation and my laptop, I decided to give it a try on my cellphone as well. So I bought an American brand that runs embedded Linux. Motorola. It's already ordered, but hasn't been delivered yet. But I can't wait to get it...

Last week was "Election day". It was about voting the president of the managing board of our gay newspaper. Although I expected it, I'm glad I was elected again for president with no dissentient. I guess I didn't do too bad so far...

Happy Blogoversary, Rian!

2008-02-12T00:07:00.000+01:00

Two years ago from today I decided to re-start my old German blog again in English. While I was an avid writer in the first year, I had hardly any time for my blog in the second year.

In most of my posts I'm apologizing for not having enough time, and it hasn't changed since then. Readers came and went. But there are still some people that stop by on a regular basis, and most of them I really like. Not in a way like I love a partner, but I care about their lives and I think about them and read their blogs regularly.

It makes me sad I can't spend more time in Blogotopia, because I really enjoyed it, and I would love to bond more with some special people on my blogroll. I hope there will be more time soon.

Hugs to all my readers that still stop by from time to time, and a big THANK YOU!

Exorcism. Or: Not the Best Day For Microsoft

2008-01-07T22:30:00.000+01:00

I'm so happy right now. I bought a brand new laptop today and I really love it. It had Windows Vista^TM installed, of course, but after my experiences with Vista^TM on my desktop PC, I didn't even wanted to bother with it. So currently I'm expelling Vista and replace it with my new best friend: Linux. My desktop PC works so perfectly well with Linux, so I decided there won't be anything else for me in the future.

At about the same time, my friend Julia messaged me. She got a new laptop today herself. Funny coincidence, isn't it? She and Vista^TM met for the first time. She messaged me to tell me how much Vista^TM sucks. Like I never said it before.

Does Microsoft realize that Vista^TM isn't doing them any favor?

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T00:31:00.000+01:00

Yeah, I'm in 2008 already. You guys in America will have to wait for at least another 6 hours before you arrive here. But I'll wait for you!

I'm sorry I hadn't had much time lately for reading other blogs and commenting. But I hope it'll get better. But (and that's no lie) I'm thinking of many of you regularly, and I'm often wondering how you're doing.

So, here's a BIG HUG from the German guy to all my loyal readers. I hope you all will have an excellent year 2008!

The one about Christmas

2007-12-26T13:33:00.000+01:00

I was sure that everybody has abandoned me--or my blog. But then I got a mail from a fellow blogger wishing me a nice Christmas and asking how I've been lately. I'm very delighted about his mail. Thanks a lot!

Ok, so here how I spent Christmas...

Last Christmas, my Mom's boyfriend and I had an big argument, and we haven't seen each other since. He always left when I was visting my Mom during the last year. So Christmas Eve was the first time after a year we were meeting each other again. I was wondering how it may be, but actually it was ok. So Christmas Eve was very nice. In Germany we put up the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. I ornamented it whily my Mom was preparing dinner. And after dinner my Mom, her BF and I played Monopoly. And my mom got a MacBook from him, we also played around with it. Oh, by the way, in Germany you get all gifts on Christmas Eve. Getting presents on Christmas Morning is quite uncommon here.

But on Christmas Morning, I suddenly became very sick. Some stomach/colon infection. I spent the entire Christmas Day in bed, I was sleeping most of the time. And I had a high fever. And missed most of the day.

Today it's Second Day of Christmas in Germany. Still a holiday. I feel better, at least I can stand up. Currently I'm on the couch in the living room, watching TV and surfing a little bit with my Mom's other laptop. We wanted to visit my Grandparents today. It's like a tradition. Each year the entire family meets up at my Grandparents'. Alas, this year I have to stay at home, I don't want to infect anybody else ...

I hope you all had a better Christmas! And I will be posting again soon.

Big Brother Government

2007-11-29T02:22:00.000+01:00

We Germans are facing a whole bunch of new laws. I'm scared. I'm not yet scared of the laws, because I've got nothing to hide. But I'm scared like crazy on what might follow.

In history classes, when we heard about how the German government deprived the people of their basic rights (on the pretext of security) about 75 years ago, I was always wondering, why the people didn't offer more resistance. How did that end? We all know: Hitler and World War II. But I was sure this won't happen again, I thought that we've learned our lessons.

Now we're losing some of our basic rights again. Hypocritical explanation from our government: Terror prevention. I don't buy it. For me it's just a way to control people. But nobody seems to care. It's not in the news. People are waiving their human rights in pleasure and ignorance.

Dear world, please keep an eye on us. It seems like we're forgetting our past. I don't want my grandchildren (uhm, well, other people's grandchildren) ask their teachers, why we were so dumb and ignorant and didn't see "it" coming. I'm scared. Seriously.

Update

2007-11-05T00:03:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm back in Germany safe and sound. I can't say I'm sad about being back; I can't say I am not either. This trip was very different than what I had expected. I had much time to brood over my life. More about that in a later post.

Instead, here some quick bits about what had happened recently:

Yes, I'm still alive.
I was meeting up with my friend Julia yesterday after a very long while. It was very good seeing her again, and it was nice to see that we still have many things in common.
I finally had a honest talk with TheGuy, where we both were very honest. And I should be happy, I guess everything is ok now. However, I'm still quite confused about what TheGuy said. I hope it is really good.
I was thinking about quitting my radio show next year. But instead I agreed to do twice as much shows as before each month today at the staff meeting. And because I already have too little time for anything, I agreed to maintain the website. I guess I'm not good in saying "No". Well, not too bad, I've been responsible for the homepage three years ago as well.

Rent

2007-10-16T00:51:00.000+02:00

I'm just coming home from watching the musical "Rent" on Broadway. My friend got me good tickets and I had a very good time. Actually, I think I should have bought the CD as well.

I spent the rest of the day in Brooklyn Heights after I've been walking around in Downtown Manhattan and crossed the East River on Brooklyn Bridge. I know, I'm a tacky tourist. However, my friends lived in Brooklyn Heights for a while years ago, and I love this area since the first time I visited them in their beautiful apartment. It sounds weird, but Brooklyn Heights was so familiar from the first moment ... like I had been living there in a former life. So, being there again was very nice.

Yesterday the happy couple (*yuck*) left town, and they are in Georgia now. The goodbye was quite interesting. They said goodbye to our friends where we stayed, but ignored me completely, although I was sitting at the table with my friends. I think that I've taken my magic to a higher level--I can become invisible. They were almost out of the door, when I decided that I won't swallow this, and I gave my Ex a tough talking to in German.
After they've left, my friends were very nice to me and cheered me up again. And I had a long and nice talk with TheGuy.

During the last year I've developed a "walking reflex", and I spent most of my Sunday walking--up on Broadway, and down right next to the Hudson. It clears the mind. When I was down at Christopher I decided to have a drink at the Dugout, were I ran into Ted again (he seems to be everywhere). And I think I saw Addaboy and probably Joe.My.God, but l'm not really sure. I was too shy to ask ...

Kinda Grumpy ...

2007-10-14T09:05:00.000+02:00

Let's start with today's pleasant things, as this post will get a bit longer, because I need to get something out of my system before I can find inner peace for the night. Currently I'm quite angry and upset, but I'll come to that later...

I got totally lost in the West Village today. It was strange, because I knew all the street names, but had no idea where I was. It turned out that I was further down than what I had expected. But it was such an nice afternoon. By accident I saw the house where one of my favourite TV shows "Friends" was supposed to take place. I tried to find it a few years ago, but to no avail.

In the evening I went to Coney Island and watched Ghost Busters in an open air cinema at the beach. It was so much fun, I'm gonna do this again next Saturday (they'll be showing House 2 next week), provided that the weather is ok and TheGuy joins me, since he is still out of town. But he'll be back soon and I'm itching to see him again.

Today I went to the movies with my Ex and his new partner, which freaks me really out. I can't stand when they refer to each other as boyfriends. I can't stand when his new one calls him "hon". They know each other for 6 months, and they've actually spent like 8 days together, the rest of their glorious relationship happened online or on the phone. Well, who am I to talk, TheGuy and I aren't better. Except we've already spent a few months together and don't call each other "hon".

And it freaks me out how nice my ex treats him. While we were together he often treated me like shit (maybe not in the beginning).

He was kissing other guys in bars while I was there, and didn't understand why I wasn't happy about that. And he was seeing guys he met on the internet and stayed for the night. He said that I was too jealous. We often had fights about that. The new one, however, can be as jealous as he want's. And my Ex doesn't even talk to guys he definitely considers attractive anymore, even when his new bf is thousands of miles away, because "it would be weird". Hello? Can anybody imagine how that's hurting me?

My Ex was very moody and often in a bad mood. He got cranky when other couples would have become romantic. And his sex drive is way below zero. I always thought that it's my fault, that I don't deserve love, and I thought that he had sex with the guys he met. Since he's the prototype for the Coolidge Effect (look it up, kids), he sometimes had. But it's a pleasure to see that their young relationship suffers for the same reasons already. And I know how frustrating it can get. Believe me, I've been there.

I don't want him back as bf--believe me. I had so much more (and sooooo much better) sex since we broke up. The first night with TheGuy for example was a revelation. I would even say that the night with TheGuy was my first time, althoug I had some guys before (even one at the same day I met TheGuy). But with him it actually was the first time where it was like magic (and at that time it was supposed to be an one night stand only). So I don't want my Ex back, we get along so much better than when we were a cuple, he's more like a brother. We're knowing each other for 10 years now, we're living together for more than 8 years now. We know what the other one is thinking without words. And we've always been important parts of the other ones life. But for the last few days that has changed. Now I'm the stranger, and the new one and he are the unity. It feels like losing him again. And I feel rejected and not worthy of love again--a feeling I know so well.

I wish TheGuy was here right now, I'm always feeling safe and special in his arms. He's the only one who has never made me feel uncomfortable. He has given me so much like no one else before. But he has some troubles at work and he might be a little bit depressed this time as well.

New England

2007-10-12T19:47:00.000+02:00

What have those states in common: Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusets, Vermont, (Upstate) New York? They're all having an occurrance in my road trip. (Because Jim's into cars, and I know he will ask: Dodge)

I drove up at the shore to Boston, and Cape Cod, and another highlight was Providence (see picture), the city of H.P. Lovecraft, where I saw all the houses he used in his stories. And I enjoyed the colored leaves everywhere.
Oh, I love New England. The typical houses are so beautyful. I would move to this area without any hesitation.

Currently it's 8.50am, and I'm in ~~Cock Suck~~ Coxsackie, NY. Outside there are winds, and it's raining, but I'm still in my warm and compfy bed, writing this on my PDA, and in a few minutes I will have some pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns ...
I'll be back in New York City tomorrow.

And here's an update on what happened in NYC before I left for the road trip. I went to another gay bar (far away from Christopher St) to meet up with the friend and his new bf I mentioned in my last post. Again I ran into Ted. This time we talked and it was quite nice.

The new bf of my friend (Ron) always said that I'm sooo cute, he pinched my cheeks several times, touched my belly, and tried to kiss me a few times, while Ron was next to us, and obviously enjoyed watching us. I thought it's weird because I don't get the concept of an open relationship, and I also have feelings for TheGuy. Nevertheless, it was a very nice evening.

She sells sea shells ...

2007-10-09T05:44:00.000+02:00

This fall in New York so far is much warmer and nicer than summer in
Germany this year. I spent the entire day at the beach in Coney
Island. We really didn't have a summer in Germany this year, so I
enjoyed the warm sun, and the beach, and the artificial Italian
"home-made" ice cream. Where I live, there are no beaches. We have
"beaches" in Germany, but it's far in the north, and even during a hot
summer it is quite cold and rather unpleasant, and it's at the
opposite side of Germany, my state itself has no beaches at all (and
neither our neighbour states nor their neighbours have beaches). So
for me it's exciting and beautiful. I love the smell of the sea, I
love the sand, I love the water. And I rescued a stranded jelly
fish--you can thank me later.

Yesterday I was at a leather-ish street fair near Christopher Street.
And I was ignored by almost every guy. So, I have to say, NYC feels
more like home than ever.

However I saw a cute chap who was also interested in me, let's call
him Ted. I guess he didn't recognize me yesterday, but we've already
met two years ago. He's part of TheGuy's closer circle of friends.
Back then, Andy (TheGuy's former roomie and also Ted's best friend)
and I visited Ted at home for a glass of wine while TheGuy was out of
town for work (You may wonder why TheGuy is out of town so often. He
has a very respectable job in another city, but kept his apartment in
Manhattan since he loves NYC). Andy had asked me before, if I think
that Ted is hot. Since he really is, I said yes. I figured out that
Ted was into me, and I think Andy and he had set up an evil plan for
that evening. Suddenly Andy had to go somewhere else, and I should
have stayed with Ted. He already sat on my lap in his briefs and
wanted me to stay for the night. It was very tempting, because I'm not
turned on by many men, but I really liked what I saw and felt, and Ted
is very cute (but of course by far not nearly as cute as TheGuy). I
went home that night and nothing happened, because I thought (and
still think) it would have been quite weird. Both said they won't tell
it to TheGuy, but I'm feeling better that nothing happened.

Back to yesterday ... I was already heading to the subway, when I
suddenly heard someone calling my name. An old friend recognized me.
He knew that I'm in town, because I left him a message if he wants to
meet up, but yesterday he ran into me by pure accident. We decided to
meet up tomorrow evening. My Ex actually dumped me while we visited
him (and his then-boyfriend). But they were not the reason, that was
another guy... By the way, in one week we have our divorce-versary...

3rd Day of New York City

2007-10-07T18:06:00.001+02:00

Oh boy, I love this city. I've been here so many times, it actually
feels like I've never really left. I'm currently staying in TheGuy's
new apartment in Manhattan, although I haven't seen TheGuy yet. He's
out of town for work. I did know that I'll be here alone for the first
weekend, but it doesn't matter.

And I love his new apartment. He said that it is very nice, and he
said it has a nice view, and he had shown me some pictures, but when I
walked in, it was still breathtaking. I love the view. Every now and
then, I'm catching myself red-handed sitting in the living room and
watching out of the window, dreaming, for hours.

I'm enjoying walking up and down and left and right across the town,
and my Ex - uhm, I should say my roomie from Stuttgart - is here as
well. He's staying at someone he "met" back when we still were a
couple. And we're spending the days together. Next weekend my Ex' new
hubby will be in town as well. I think I will leave those love birds
alone. I can't stand seeing my Ex do all the things to him he never
did to me (like holding hands in public and all that stuff, about
"other" stuff he's doing to him and never did to me I don't even want
to think)...

Anyway, yesterday I visited my other friends in the city. The straight
couple with the two girls. Those girls are so funny. We watched
"Jungle Book", and the three year old asked, "When is this movie
finished? When someone's marrying?"

I will stay a few nights with my straight friends as well, since
TheGuy won't be in town much. Mr. Secret also left a comment if I want
to meet up with him. And I really want to. He'll be the first blogger
I meet in person. And he will be the first person on earth who gets
bored to death by a dorky German ...

Another thing I love in America. At home nobody even looks at me in a
gay bar. Nobody wants me, nobody even takes notice that I exist. Here
it is so different. I could have 10 different guys every night. It's
spooky, I don't dare to go out without a buddy (a mock boyfriend),
because I can't handle the stampede of admirers at bars on Christopher
Street. I haven't developed any skills in chasing away admirers, since
in Germany there isn't a single one - I would be delighted if someone
would even notice that I exist. But here, every other guy gets the
urge to give me his phone number. It feels good on one hand, but very
weird and unfamiliar on the other hand.

Long story short, my desire to move to New York for good has been rekindled.

After the Party

2007-10-03T05:37:00.000+02:00

It's 5.30am in the morning. I just came home from our anniversary party. Our gay magazin celebrated its 75th issue. Actually there are way more issues, numeration started at 0 again after a few years. All in all we exist for 29 years now. You might be wondering why we have a party on a Tuesday. Tomorrow (or today already) is "Tag der Deutschen Einheit", which is more or less our "4th of July".

By the way, you can see our latest cover on the right.

Today there was a little show and speeches for invited guests (friends, advertising customer, former and current staff). After The Dork on the Phone and the sequel, we were pleased to proudly present: The Dork on Stage. I hadn't expected to be on stage this evening, but my staff insisted, since I'm the CEO. So, without any preparation I was standing up there and ... did a miserable job. They said it was ok, but I know it wasn't.

Anyway, I was surprised how many people came. All seats were taken, and at least 40 people were standing in the back and on the sides of the room. On the other hand, many other media reported about our anniversary, since we're the oldest gay magazine. There were articles in all important city magazines, a big article with pictures of our staff on the front page of a weekly newspaper, and we've also been in the news of a local TV station every 30 minutes today.

After the little part for invited guests there was a bigger show for everybody, we had about 10 artists, mostly singers and two witty drag queens. I was afraid that nobody would come to see our show, but it was very crowded. I was surprised. Especially because our competitor had a release party of their latest issue last Friday and it was literally nobody there. Did I ever write about how they do everything that we do? After we announced our anniversary party, they came up with their release party 4 days before ours. Isn't it funny? They never had a party before, we never had one before either. But just a few days after our party was announced, they also had one. They're also always writing about things we had in our last issue. It seems like they have no own ideas. Anyway...

After the show there was a party with two dance floors. The location was excellent. It's a nice building at a lake in our city park. Inside there were the two dance floors. And there's a big lovely outdoor area on a pontoon with chairs and tables on the lake. We had many candles, it was very romantic and quiet. It was a warm autumn night and our guests enjoyed sitting on the pontoon. Many couples kissed (sigh).

Side note: The TV announcement contained a funny slip of the tongue. We had help from a local gay-party organizer for the dance part, so all we had to take care of was the show part. He's famous for great gay dance parties, so we were happy about the cooperation. His nick is kleine Bienenkönigin (little queen bee). But they said kleine Bierkönigin (little beer queen). Isn't that hilarious. ;-)

I think our guests had a great time, we got many compliments, and I'm so happy and tired and now I'll go to bed.

New York, New York

2007-09-26T04:02:00.000+02:00

Finally. I'm going to visit "my" city again. I don't know any other place where I feel more at home than in NYC. I've been there so many times, and I just love it.

I'll arrive on October 4th and will stay till October 22nd. I can't wait to see all my friends again--and of course TheGuy will be there. I'll stay in his apartment most of the time. I just booked the flight a few minutes ago--I'm so thrilled. It's 4am right now, and I need to go to work in ... well ... soon, but I can't sleep. I'd rather jump up and down like a child, excitedly waiting for Santa.

The last few weeks were very unpleasant for me. I worked very much and had so weird crap to deal with in the rest of the time. Usually I left the office between 9.30pm and 10pm. And I didn't feel very well either. I hope this holiday will get me into a better mood.

Helpless

2007-09-23T01:53:00.000+02:00

I was talking to TheGuy on the phone just a few minutes ago. Usually he's frolic, witty and amazing. Today he was very quiet, and sounded very sad. That's so unusual for him.

He didn't want to talk about what's bothering him. All I know is that it's job-related, and that he's having a bad time. He hasn't really slept in weeks. That's serious, because I know how important getting enough sleep is for him. A few days ago when we last talked I already thought that he's not as light-hearted as usually.

I wish I could help him. It's ridiculus, because I wouldn't be able to help him, even if I were there. But I'm really concerned, and I feel so sorry for him.

Second Season of "Dork on the Phone"

2007-09-19T11:40:00.000+02:00

Yup, the Dork on the Phone has returned. Dorkier than ever. Guaranteed.

I'm currently writing an exporter in a special file format at work. It's about GPS, navigation, and that stuff. We're not selling maps, but we're offering services for map data improvement and conversion and such things. We can convert most of the standards of European map data vendors. Currently I program the export of map data from our generic format to the standard of a big well-known map data seller in America. Quite complicated. I joined their developer network, because I was hoping to find a map-viewer so I can test my generated maps. I had to fill out many details and my phone number, and ...

Yesterday, while I was working on that project, my phone rang. A call from America. A [insert very important sounding job title here that includes "president"] called and said he would like to get to know "his" developers. And he tried to ask me in English about what I'm doing. Damn, I'm such a dork on the phone in a foreign language.

I share my office with a Chinese guy. He doesn't speak German. So I speak English the entire day. But I was hardly able to say anything on the phone to that guy. It was weird. Very weird. And I'm not exaggerating.

Kinda frustrating.

Back to stable

2007-09-17T22:34:00.000+02:00

Do you know how it feels when you come home after a long time, when some of your friends got married recently, and the neighbors refurbished their house? It feels strangely familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. Well, I have that feeling with my computer right now.

I wrote in my last post that the days of ~~Pearly Spencer~~ Vista^TM will soon be over. Too many times I had to reboot the entire thing. So, last weekend there was the showdown. This is my first post I'm writing on my Linux Computer.

Jebus, Linux has changed a lot since I last used it at home a while ago. I mean, my computer at work is a Linux PC, but it hasn't any cool features switched on, and our administrator configures everything. But at home, back then it took me days to get my sound card working. More days to get my printer working. Weeks to get my scanner working. You get the idea. In the beginning when I was a novice, each change in a system setting required lots of googling, reading, trying, praying, and confusion. And, to be honest, windows looked more beautiful.

Well, things have changed a lot since then. I had a running system (printer, webcam, soundcard, etc.) in less than an hour. It configured all devices itself, I didn't do anything. It looks cool, doesn't crash, is easy to maintain, fast, and much fun. And it feels like coming home after a long while.

Here's a video of how it looks. I'm amazed. I'm sure I will switch off some of the effects after a while. I think they will get annoying after a few days. But currently I enjoy them. Say hello to my new love...

I didn't create this video, I just found it on youtube to give you an impression how Linux looks today. By the way, the video calls the composition manager "CompComm" as this is a early preview. Now they found their real name, it's "Compiz Fusion".

I hate Vista

2007-09-04T09:57:00.000+02:00

I hate, hate, hate it. My old computer died two weeks ago, and I had to get a new one. Since you can't find one without Windows Vista^TM installed, I'm the "proud" owner of a Vista Computer. Yeah!

I never was a big fan of Windows, I used to use Linux on my systems. But then I tried XP when it came out a looong time ago, and I really liked it. My old computer had XP running when I bought it, and it was very stable, it never crashed. I was so happy about XP that I switched from Linux to XP back then.

But now??? Vista is worse than crap. I haven't rebooted my old XP in five years as often as I did with Vista in two weeks. It often freezes during start-up. I often need to reboot after "highly sophisticated tasks" like launching Excel, or sometimes even minimizing just one window.

How dare you, Microsoft, to ship such crap? I'm a Software Engineer myself. If I sold a program as unstable as Vista, my client would sue me, and as a justified punishment a deathsman would behead me on a public square behind the castle in front of a cheering audience. Only Microsoft can get away with that.

I'll switch back to Linux as soon as I have enough time for the installation. I'm sick and tired of Vista. There, I said it.

I'm here and I'm queer. Get used to it.

2007-08-28T00:54:00.000+02:00

Well, each Blog needs its own hate comment writer. I finally found mine. I was really concerned because I didn't have one. It's like, "Hello, don't I deserve some harassment as well?!" Then, this Sunday, a Rian from Australia finally delivered.

Hi, I am Rian.

Please cease and desist from your flamboyant lifestyle, or failing that, change your name so as not to elicit confusion.

There are plenty of great names that would suit an individual of your sexual preference, "julian", "bruce" or "lance" These names would allow for your posting of what some would consider lewd material without the associated defamation incurred by all Rians.

Kind Regards.
Rian - of the Australian Chapter of Rians.

Oh Honey, I can't believe you call my lifestyle flamboyant. Nobody ever said this to me until yesterday. But I'm really delighted you think so. It makes me feel so special and twinkling. I'm already thinking about putting it on my business card.

And ... uhm ... changing my name ... great idea. However, I won't do it, Darling. So, could you please change yours. Your bigotry is a shame and besmirches my name.

Would anybody care?

2007-08-21T14:06:00.001+02:00

Would anybody care if I vanished into thin air? If the ground opened up and pulled me down into netherworld? If I died in my room of a heart attack and slowly disolved into fetid sullage?

Don't call 911, I'm not in danger. Neither physically nor menatlly. It's just a thought that came to my mind. And I wish the answer would be YES.

German is a difficult language

2007-08-12T23:45:00.000+02:00

Dear Sat.1 (German TV station),

I understand that German is a difficult language. Unlike in English, words change depending on their context. For example, we inflect nouns into one of four cases: nominative, genitive, dative, and accusative; one of three genders: masculine, feminine, or neuter; and two numbers: singular and plural. So there are many different endings for words. But for a native speaker older than 6 or 7 it should be no problem at all.

Few days ago I saw this question for a raffle after one of your TV shows (Asterix):

Wem gehören diese Schilder?
a) Römer
b) Gallier

Not to mention that your questions are always very stupid, which freaks me out all the time. However, I won't rant about that today. But could you please, please, please at least use correct German. There are just three nouns, not a single one is correctly inflected. That's a big fat F.

Here's how it should read (in case nobody on your payroll is able to do it correctly):

Wem gehören diese Schilder?
a) Römern
b) Galliern

To bike or not to bike, that's the question

2007-08-12T11:17:00.000+02:00

July 18th, Wednesday night, about 3am, Paris.

We've spent two amazing days in Paris, eight more to come. We've been to the touristic places--of course--but we've also managed to see "the real Paris". It's actually easier when you visit somebody who lives here.

We've been walking almost all the time, we haven't used the public transportation so far. TheGuy is very athletic, as we all know, so no problem for him, and I was able to walk as much as he does. Big change compared to last year. Yeah!

Also, we both enjoy riding a bike, and in Paris you can rent bikes from a venting machine at almost every corner. We decided to get one (for each, of course), but we didn't succeed. We've been to at least 40 stations, but they're either not having bikes at that moment, or the bikes have a red light switched on (which means you can't rent it, or the station lost connection with the server, or there are only two bikes left, but rent by the straight couple that were faster than we, or the renting machine dies while you try to rent a bike, or it wouldn't accept your credit card (which works everywhere else). After many serious attempts we just gave up. You see hundreds of people riding those bikes, but it just won't work for us.

Paris, Finally

2007-08-08T11:17:00.001+02:00

I'm writing this post on my PDA and I'm not even sure if I will be able to publish it in the next days. Anyway, it's Tuesday, July 17th, about 10am.

Yesterday I flew to Paris, arrived at our friend's appartment at about 9.45pm while it was raining cats and dogs. About one hour later TheGuy arrived here as well. In the night we had French cheese, baguette and champagne together with our Parisian friend and were catching up on what happened recently.

I was finally meeting TheGuy again. Hooray! When he arrived and I actually saw him again the first time after more than a year, I was surprised how handsome he is. I mean, I knew that he's very hot and cute, but each and every time we meet up again I'm surprised. It's like, "Oh damn, he really IS the hottest guy on earth, it wasn't just a dream. I didn't make him up."

He just came from the US, so he's still jet-lagged. He's laying next to me, sleeping, and naked, and I can't really get my eyes off of him.

When our friend went to bed, we went in "our" room as well. It feels so nice to be re-united. Oh boy did we unite this night. We talked much, cuddeled a lot, and suddenly the sun was there again, so we didn't get much sleep, but it was exactly what I needed. Hey, I'm not talking about sex (ok, to be honest, not only about sex), but also the entire thing.

So, new day, we're both still tired, and a great city waits to be explored. I'm gonna buy some baguette and stuff for breakfast and will then wake up TheGuy, and then we will do the tourist-stuff. I'll keep you posted.

Yet another Brain Dump

2007-08-03T22:55:00.000+02:00

So much to do, so little time. So here's just another list of things that happened recently.

I finally made TheGuy use Skype (after we've been talking about it for, like, at least two years), and we had a nice and long conversation (with video) just a few minutes ago. It's nice to see his smile while talking, but on the other hand he wasn't chatting online yet--I hope I didn't open Pandora's box and he's hooking up with everybody online now...
Today I was labeling everything at the office: my chair, my phone, my mouse, my keyboard, my trash bin, my computer, my filing cabinets, my ... you get the idea. Me and my team will be moving to another place. It's actually the same room, but just at the other end. In fact, I'll be very close to the entertainment unit again. Hooray!
I've been very busy lately. Last weekend there was Gay Pride in Stuttgart. Pictures pending...
- On Friday me and two staff members of our magazine guided a group of people and showed them "historic" gay places in the city. Where was the first gay bar, the first gay pub? How was gay life in the 50ies and 60ies? During WW II.? About 100 years ago? We were talking about two kings of our state that were gay, and all that stuff. We expected about 5 to 10 people to show up for the event. Or, let's say, we were hoping that at least anybody will show up for the guided tour. But then, there were about 100 people. It was a HUGE crowed and they loved it. The city wants us to do this guided tour regularly for tourists, and they will even pay us. It was a big success and we are really happy about that. Another staff member took some pictures. I will publish some as soon as I get them.
- On Saturday there was the big parade. Me and my staff were a part of the parade, we handed out candy, leis, our magazine, flyer for our anniversary party, and we had a blast.
  Our competitor didn't register for the parade, but when they published the groups, they made a belated registration, and because their chief editor is a friend of the organizer of the parade, they got a position one group in front of us, which--in my oppinion--isn't fair. The parade in Stuttgart starts in a quiet area, and then goes right into the center of the city. In the quiet part there are almost no spectators, it's just very handy to start there. Then there is a bridge, and AFTER the bridge, it actually starts. It's were the spectators are.
  But then, the truck of our competitor died right at that bridge, and they had to go to the side and the parade was over for them. We went past them and in all glory. Actually I don't like schadenfreude, but in that moment it felt like justice, because they were belatedly added to the parade just in front of us. There is something like karma.
- On Sunday there was the gay street fair, I was there with the radio station, we wanted to broadcast live from a booth at the fair. We did that a couple times before. So I was down in the city at 7am (remember, it's the day after the parade and all the parties) to set up our booth. And then I spent the entire day there doing interviews and meeting friends that came to our booth.
The Drag Queen is still grumpy and wrote mean letters to me, and another letter to my staff. I really liked "her", but I gess I need a break. She can't be still pissy about the same thing. Well, she can, but without me.
I'm thinking about going to New York City in October. I was already talking to my boss and TheGuy about it, and they're both ok. One understandably way more than the other. Perhaps I can meet up with some people on my blogroll as well. In fact, there are some fellow bloggers I would love to meet...

Worst Day Ever

2007-07-25T11:53:00.000+02:00

Maybe not worst day ever, but worst day this year. I'm still in Paris, waiting for my flight to depart in 9 hours. TheGuy has already left 30 minutes ago, because his plane is leaving earlier.

We had such a wonderful time together in Paris. Some posts about it and pictures will follow during the next days. The time together with TheGuy was amazing, just lovely. We were teasing each other, cuddling, walking around in Paris holding hands. It was romantic and beautiful, and we were so connected. Why can't all days be like that. And I don't mean the 'holiday part', I'm talking about the 'TheGuy part'. Damn, I love him so much, although I also didn't say it this time.

However, now I'm lonely again, and even worse. Everything I see right now reminds me of him, of the happy days together. Damn, I miss him so much right now. An hour ago we were still chatting, cuddling in bed next to each other ...

I didn't cry when he entered the subway, I didn't want him to see me cry. But I started immediately when he was out of sight, walked home to our love-nest, well, former love-nest, and I'm crying since. I want to see him again. Like nothing else in this world. Damn. Life sucks.

Disillusion

2007-07-15T23:53:00.000+02:00

Today my co-host and I invited a famous local Drag Queen to our show. He's a friend, and he's been a big star for me. I've been to all of his shows in almost 10 years, usually I brought many people to his plays. I'm really a big fan, a poster of one of his shows is the only poster in my room. I was looking forward to this radio show and thought that it would be a pleasant evening. He was a guest in our show more than two years ago, and it was a very funny and lovely show. I expected today's show to be the same. What fool am I?

The cranky bitch was angry that only two pages in our magazine were full of her. She said we would ignore her repeatedly. Well, the magazine and the radio show are two different things. But he was very angry before the show and lectured me. Of course my mood was quite down during the show. I would say that was the worst show moodwise.

This year I won't see her show, and I'm thinking of taking down her poster. The line between admiration, disappointment and infuriation is very thin, that's what I've learned today.