A Blast From The Past VIII: College and Sven

Sequel to: KöKis

It was a regular Thursday where Udo and I went to the gay youth group meeting in Stuttgart. We arrived early and we were the first ones that day. Sven, a blond guy, joined us, it was the first time he joined the meeting.

In the next weeks he was always at the meeting, but he didn't talk to me much. For example, when he sat at a table with some friends and I joined them, immediately every conversation ended. That happened many times. I was sure he doesn't like me. But in fact, he was in love and they were talking about how he could get me. I didn't realize he was interested in me at all.

Then, one day in 1998, another member of the group told me that he tried hitting on Sven, but he figured out that Sven's only interested in me. He said I should talk to him. Since I was thinking Sven doesn't like me, I couldn't believe him, but I gave it a try.

I had some dates with Sven, we've been to the movies, we had dinner together, it was a nice time, but I missed something. I was waiting for him to make the first step, but he didn't . One night I heard him talking to another guy how much he's into me and that he's very sad I'm not interested in him. He talked about getting over me and moving on. That's when I was sure about his feelings.

At the next weekend our group watched some movies together. "Accidently" I sat next to Sven. I was very tired that evening and we had planned to watch many different movies until morning. I said to him that I am tired. He responded: "If you want, you can lay your head on my shoulder." I didn't dare. And I got angry about myself. Why didn't I dare?

Two or three movies later I said it again. And he responded like I hoped he will. And I laid my head on his shoulder, he hugged me, we cuddeled, butterflies in the sky! I was very happy about all that, but I had to go home and find some sleep. All I could think of was Sven. After about 16 months we finally were together.

When we were together for a month I moved to Stuttgart for college. I moved in together with Sven.

Right after that, college had started. I found a group of nice friends. In the first year we had big fun together. We had some parties. It was a nice time. But I hadn't told them that I'm gay. After some months I came out to two of them on ICQ. In turn I figured out they were a couple. I wasn't supposed to tell the others about them being a couple. They didn't tell the others that I'm gay. We had a lot of fun with the "extra knowledge". But after a couple weeks I came out to the rest as well, they were all cool about it--that's at least what I've heard. I guess it wasn't a problem for anyone.

Sven and I were a couple for more than five years. Then he broke up our relationship. I cried a lot, I was very sad, I was hoping we can fix it. But we really broke up. I went through some very bad and sad weeks.

We're still living together, we're still friends. We're friends on another level, but actually we're even getting along better. Sven, I'm very pleased to have such a great buddy like you! Thanks for all the very nice moments in our relationship; thanks for all the cuddling, the kisses, the talks. Thanks for still beeing a great fellow!

To be continued ...