A Blast From The Past IV: High School

Sequel to: Aliens

In 1993 I entered high school. As I said before, my former class mates gave me a hard time in junior high. Surprisingly high school was very cool. I got along pretty well with my new class mates there. It was a new experience.

One day someone (I guess it was even me) came up with a joke that Toby, a fellow classmate, and I were a gay couple. Nobody really believed that, and it really was just a joke. We called each other "Honey" and stuff like that. It was like a game. Everybody laughed and joined the game. The cute boys in my class started flirting with me, the girls gave me pictures of nude guys--but everybody was sure that it was nothing more than a joke.

Three friends were special because we've always been together during high school: Tanja, Bianca and Siggi. They were great fellows, we had a lot of fun in and after school together.

Rumour had it, that Bianca and I were attracted to each other. Some teachers called her "my wife". In fact, we spent much time together and she was very beautiful. But ... I am 100% gay, and I think I was totally not her type. When our class went home from a one-week trip to Budapest, Bianca was asked by another girl if we had sex together during the trip. There must have been some bets on us. Bianca negated.

Bianca, Siggi and I stayed in contact after highschool and we met up from time to time. Bianca and I went out for a coffee when I came out to her. I was so nervous but she was totally ok:

Bianca: So ... you're in love with someone?
Me: I am. Unrequited love.
Bianca: So, what's her name?
Me: I'm not gonna tell you.
Biance: What's her name?
Me: Christian.
Bianca: No, seriously, what's her name???
Me: It's Christian. I'm gay.
Bianca: I know (she laughed), but seriously ... what is her name?
Me: I'm really gay. His name is Christian. I guess he's straight. He doesn't know about my feelings.
Bianca: Wow! Really? Cool. Thanks for telling me ...

Siggi went to a bible school after high school and I was even more afraid of telling him. Bianca wasn't sure how he might react either. We three met up at Bianca's place one evening for a booze-up party. I tried to figure out what he thinks about me beeing gay without actually telling him. So we made a few jokes--and I wasn't able to find out anything. But only few days later I came out to him as well at a BBQ in his parents' garden. I think he was shocked, at least a little bit. I suppose he needed some time to think about it. He remained nice to me, but I felt a distance. When we said good bye, I was nervous. I wasn't sure if I'll ever see him again, as friend. He said, he's not yet sure what he thinks. And then he laughed, gave me a big hug and said: "I still like you very much and we stay friends, asshole!"

I guess he really thought a lot about homosexuality, and why I'm gay. He asked me a lot, like how I figured it out and all that stuff. He told me later that his thesis at bible school was about homosexuality, inspired by me. I asked what his conclusion was. He said: "It's totally ok!". I was Siggi 's best man when he married his wife.

To be continued ...